Why Do We Lose Our First Love (Part III)

The Underlying Cause Of Losing Our First Love

Is Losing Our Sense Of Needing God

Re-Examining Spiritual Disciplines In The Light of Our First Love

• For Many Christians, the disciplines of prayer, fasting, giving, Bible study and Christian service can bring pride or discouragement - pride if they do them; discouragement if they do not do them or do not see results from doing them.  Both pride and discouragement give way to a new love for the Lord if we see how they are actually designed to maintain a sense of need for God.

We tend to think that the more faithful we are for God the more spiritual we will feel toward God.  But quite the reverse should take place.  The more Paul grew in maturity, the more unworthy and needy he realized he was.  He went from seeing himself as "the last of the apostles" to "the least of the apostles" to "less than the least of the apostles" to, finally, "not worthy to be called an apostle."  That is the kind of spiritual progress that will keep our "first love" alive.

If our goal in each of these disciplines is to understand more deeply our total need and dependence on God, then we will discover the "poverty of spirit" to which the kingdom of heaven belongs.  "Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3).

A New Look At Prayer

Each aspect of prayer is designed to maintain our "first love" by reminding us of our sense of need before God.  Praise of His name reveals the need to live so that the name of God is not blasphemed among the Gentiles. (See Romans 2:24)

Petitions open the windows of our motives.  Do they advance the needs of God's kingdom, or are they attempts to build up our reserves so we will not have to call on Him so much in the future?  Confession reminds us of our hall of shame and our unworthiness before a holy God.  It exposes our need for moment-by-moment power from Him for victory.

Thanksgiving measures our sense of need by how many specific items we can thank Him for during each day.  Intercession builds a bridge to share the needs of others before God's throne.

A New Look At Studying The Bible

Reading scripture certainly causes us to grow in grace and in the know;edge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But the initial function of getting into God's Word is not to grow but to see our need to grow.  As newborn babes we are to "...desire the sincere milk of the word..." (1 Peter 2:2).  Our sense of need turns into our desire for the Word.

Sometimes as we read we become discouraged as we learn more and more about God's holy standards.  We realize how far short we fall in reaching them.  But this very sense of discouragement can be transformed into a deeper sense of need before a loving, merciful god.  "For He knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust" (Psalm 103:14).  This kind of need is vital to maintain our first love.

A New Look At Giving

The command to "freely give" when we have "freely received" is a practical necessity if we are to maintain our sense of dependence upon the Lord.  The tithe is not just "a giving of the tenth" but a weekly reminder that it all belongs to God.

The more we build assets for our future, the more prone we are to feel that we do not need God in ways that other people do.  In reality, a rich man needs Him more.  "Charge them that are rich in this world,  that they be not high minded, nor trust in uncertain riches..." (1 Timothy 6:17).  Giving beyond the tithe is to offset the drive to be "...Rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing..." (Revelation 3:17).  That which we do not give away represents responsibility, not ownership.

A New Look At Fasting

Fasting is one of the most effective reminders of our need to depend upon God for "our daily bread."  It is also a vital reminder of the warning God gave to His own people: "Beware...Lest when thou hast eaten and art full...thine heart be lifted up, and thou forget the Lord thy God..." (Deuteronomy 8:11-14).

Fasting illustrates the reality that a man's life does not consist of the things he possesses, and that he does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.  Fasting dims the things of this world.  It opens up a deeper awareness of the spiritual , mental, and emotional needs which we have.

A New Look At Service

One of the greatest benefits of Christian service is not to those who are served, but to those who are serving.  The requirements of ministering to the spiritual needs of others force us to see new areas of need in ourselves, and as a result we have a greater dependence on God.

The statements, "I am not capable of teaching that class" or, "I cannot witness" totally miss the point of Spirit-led Christian service.  It is not that we are sufficient within ourselves so that we do not really need God's fresh touch of power, but that we are totally inadequate to do anything apart from God's power working through us.

Paul explained, "...I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling...that your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God" (1Coritnthians 2:3-5).

The "PRESSURE" That Maintains Our "First Love"

• The Pressure of knowing God's standards and not being able to achieve them in ourselves can be a powerful motivation to keep our "first love" alive - if we understand the following aspects of God's ways.

A. BIRTH OF A VISION

• God reveals"...the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" (II Corinthians 4:6)
• Jesus Christ reveals Himself to us by the commands which He gave us.  "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me...and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him" (John 14:21
• We are required to keep His holy standards.  "...As He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manners of conversation" (I Peter 1:15)

B. Death Of A Vision

• We discover that we can not keep God's laws.  Every single person is a sinner by birth and by practice.  All deserve eternal death.
• But Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God, shed His blood to redeem all who God raised from the dead (Romans 3:23, 4:24, 5:8, 10:9).
• As sons and daughters of God we still find we cannot achieve God's holy standards.

Satan's Promptings

1. "Fulfill God's laws by your own energy." (This is Legalism.)
2. "Reject God's laws since you are under grace."  (This is license.)

C. Supernatural Fulfillment

• Our inability to keep God's standards forces us to maintain a moment-by-moment sense of need for and dependence upon the Lord
• It forces us to abide in Him and have His Word abide in us (John 15:7)
• It forces us to call upon God daily for His grace (desire and power) to live the Christian life and to learn to be sensitive to the promptings of His Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16)
• Each failure makes us more aware of our total unworthiness, our gratefulness for God's mercy, and the power of His might.

Some might need to fall in love all over again.  I'll be praying for you.

For His glory alone,







Why Do We Lose Our First Love (Part II)

The Underlying Cause Of Losing Our First Love Is Losing Our Sense Of Needing God

God's Examples To Us

We see a process in God's dealing with His own people.  God led Israel out of the bondage of Egypt to the Promise Land.  Each step of the way brought new needs which were far beyond the Israelites' ability to meet: deliverance from the pursuing Egyptian army, food and water in the desert, and direction on where and when to move.  All through those years God did not allow His people to plant crops or to build houses; they were totally dependent on His provision, direction, and protection.  Even the absence of manna one day each week was a powerful reminder not to take Him for granted.

When the Israelites reached the border of the Promised Land, God predicted that they would lose their love for Him, and He told them exactly how it would happen.  The very same sequence takes place in our lives today.

How We Lose Our Since of Need

As soon as God allowed Israel to enjoy the abundant provisions of the Promised Land, they forgot the idea of a day-by-day provision for their needs.  They no longer counted on the hand of God for bread, but trusted in their own hands and land to raise crops.  They no longer needed God to keep their shoes from wearing out.  They multiplied their gold and silver so they could make and buy all the shoes they wanted.

Before long the very warning that God gave them beforehand came true.   "Beware that you do not forget the LORD your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgments, and His statutes which I command you today,  lest—when you have eaten and are full, and have built beautiful houses and dwell in them; and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and your gold are multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied; when your heart is lifted up, and you forget the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage."
Deuteronomy 8:11-14

Often we are very aware of physical needs.  But we must also become more and more aware of our spiritual, mental, and emotional needs.  The more we are aware of all these needs, the more intense is our prayer.  The more we are aware of God meeting these needs, the more genuine is our thanksgiving.  And the more we tell others of His greatness in meeting needs, the more sincere is our praise.

When we are secure for the future and well-fed for the present, we begin to believe that we can avoid the consequences of violating God's standards.  This is a good one to read again...When we are secure for the future and well-fed for the present, we begin to believe that we can avoid the consequences of violating God's standards.  We become bold in doing those things which displease Him.  We do not fear His not meeting our needs because they are already met.

There is wisdom in Proverbs 30:8-9 "Remove falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches.  Feed me with the food allotted to me; lest I be full and deny You, And say, “Who is the LORD?” Or lest I be poor and steal, and profane the name of my God.

How Things Become Gods

When God provides for our needs, we tend to become vain and think it was our own strength or wisdom.  We become ungrateful and fail to maintain our dependence upon God.  Instead, we depend upon our own abilities, wisdom, strength, and resources.

For example, if we expect money to do for us what only God can do, then money has become our God.  We begin to build our life around our source of security.

Then when problems come which are beyond our resources to solve, and our security is threatened, we experience fear.  Fear of loss is God's signal that we have transferred our dependence from Him to something or someone else.  Fear may be the signal that God is getting ready to remove a false god out of our lives so that we can restore our sense of need for Him.

Twelve Evidences That We Have Lost Our "First Love" For The Lord

Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Revelation 2:4

1. When my delight in the Lord is no longer as great as my delight in someone else, I have lost my "First Love." And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength...Mark 12:30
2. When my soul does not long for times of rich fellowship in God's word or in prayer, I have lost my "First Love."  As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God. Psalm 42:1
3. When my thoughts during leisure moments do not reflect upon the Lord, I have lost my "First Love."  God is not in all his thoughts...Psalm 10:4 
4. When I claim to be "only human" and easily give in to those things I know displease the Lord, I have lost my "First Love." If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. John 15:10 "If you love Me, keep My commandments. John 14:15
5. When I do not willingly and cheerfully give to God's work or to the needs of others, I have lost my "First Love."  But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?  1 John 3:17
6. When I cease to treat every Christian brother/sister as I would the Lord, I have lost my "First Love."  ...inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ Matthew 25:40; A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. John 13:34
7. When I view the commands of Christ as restrictions to my happiness rather than expressions of His love, I have lost my "First Love." He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.” John 14:21
8. When I inwardly strive for the acclaim of this world rather than the approval of the Lord, I have lost my "First Love." Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 1 John 2:15; If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. John 15:19
9. When I fail to make Christ or His words known because I fear rejection, I have lost my "First Love." 
   Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. John 15:20
10. When I refuse to give up an activity which I know is offending a weaker brother/sister, I have lost my "First Love." And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. Romans 14:15
11. When I become complacent to sinful conditions around me, I have lost my "first Love." Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, Matthew 24:12
12. When I am unable to forgive another for offending me, I have lost my "First Love." Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 1 John 4:20

I can personally tell you that I will be digging into a couple of these twelve personally as they have struck a major cord or should I say nerve with me.  I pray that this give you some scriptural insight to how we can lose our "First Love" and become Luke-Warm Christians.

In Part III we will be Re-examining Spiritual Disciplines in the light of our First Love.  I give thanks to Bill Gothard for his Godly insights and wisdom into scripture for these wonderful truths.

Praying for you...do everything for His glory alone.

Why Do We Lose Our First Love? (Part I)

I just think it is so cool to go to church and hear a message that you have been giving in another context for about 2 or three months, and not only hear that message, but hear part of a message regarding a topic that you have have been reading about for the last 2 weeks.  Not only did the the topic come up, but the exact same phrase.

For months I have been going through Radical with our BFC and talking about how are lives need to be different than those of the world.  Christians need and are called to be different.  Bottom line!  I sat there (and I already have asked for forgiveness for this) thinking, "you got to be kidding me.  I have been going over this stuff for months."  I was just sitting there trying not to look to righteous, you know sitting there like I was paying attention and twirling my pen that I was so eagerly waiting to take notes with, and then all of a sudden he said it. 

I quickly perked up and asked myself did I just hear what I thought I heard?  Did he just mention something that has been on my heart and mind for the last two weeks?  All of a sudden he mentioned it again, and it was confirmed.  He did mention it.  His message was about walking wisely and then it he started talking about becoming Luke-warm and then he mentioned it...First Love!  He mentioned that a reason people become Luke-warm and they do not look different than the world is that they have lost their first love.

I thought that was so cool!  WHY?  Well not only was I given study materials that spoke to this very topic, but I have been haunted by this very scenario for a very long time.  When I got saved, just like you, Jesus radically changed my life.  I was going to church 3 times a week, going to Bible study twice a week, Life Change University courses, and got involved in the recreation ministry coaching kids and sharing bible lessons with them at practice.  Everywhere you turned you were bound to see me.  Nothing was more important than church and Jesus during this time.

One Sunday morning during the meet and greet portion of the service, one of the guys I shook hands with made a statement to me that has stayed with me ever since.  I can't remember what made him say it, but this is what he said to me, and it was centered towards my enthusiasm for Christ.  He said, "Give it 10 years."

You see, the reason this is very real for me at this point in time and how this is all working in my life right now, is that I get this material that talks about losing our first love, and then the message tonight brings up the same exact phrase "Losing Your First Love", and most importantly the fact that in just four days, February 20, 2011 will mark the 9th year of my salvation. (Almost 10 years)

I mention this because I am having my own battle with my first love.  I don't necessarily believe I have lost my first love, but I am definitely having severe communication issues at the moment.  On one hand the statement that guy made 9 years ago has driven me so far to strive not to lose the love I have for Jesus Christ and what He has done for me, on the other hand I feel isolated because of what God has done in my life and the things I have witnessed in ministry including the good and the bad.  Being on staff at a church, there are  just somethings you deal with and don't tell anyone about even other pastors, even if those things are done to you and said about you and your family.  You can never talk of these things because you don't want to affect the church or belief and walk of new and growing Christians.  Over a period of time, this could possibly make you luke-warm, couldn't it?

It is very difficult for me to be writing this,as I mentioned it is hard to talk about anything.  Pastors and leadership look at you and think you may not be as sound as they thought and not worthy to lead or for them to place stock in you.  Others including friends and supporters may think you have lost it and it's not wise to donate to your ministry especially after hearing that there have been thoughts of leaving it.  There will be people that support our ministry and are very gracious, and possibly look at my comments and think that it is not a wise choice to be giving to this ministry.  You can easily see why it is a two-edged sword talking about things like this.

I have been wrestling with the perception that everything I have tried to accomplish for the Lord has failed.  I have been wrestling with the thought of leaving the ministry, asking someone else to teach the Bible study I lead, and possibly walking away from church and church activities altogether.  Like me, I am sure others also wrestle with being the spiritual leader of the family, being able to provide for their family.  You might have a child or children looking to you to put an exclamation point on everthing you are teaching them.  "Train up a Child in the way they should go."  These things if left unchecked could fester into major concerns.  It has been a rough year emotionally and physically for me.  Hopefully everyone who knows me can say that I have always tried to keep Christ in the front of everything, but has it just been satan beating me up and taking his tole?  Has it been God correcting His child?  Have I become Luke-warm and lost my first love? 

Right now I am investigating the answers to these questions, and I am expectant that the answers will be laid out in this time of writing and reading.

I will be leading you (if you so choose to follow me) through some great discussions and suggestions about "Why Do We Lose Our First Love?"

• Is it because of disobedience?  No, because we can obey God and still not have the excitement of that "first love."
• Is it because of not reading the Word?  No, even the Pharisees read and studied the Word.
• Is it because of not praying?  No, we can pray and still be spiritually cold.
• Is it because of not witnessing?  No, it is possible to witness and still be aware of a dullness in our soul.

The Underlying Cause Of Losing Our First Love Is Losing Our Sense Of Needing God

Our need for God is the very motivation that brings us to salvation.  This is what brought that father, mother, and daughter to salvation.  Once God begins to meet our needs, however, we tend to forget that we have them.  We become rich and increased with goods and feel that we have need of nothing.  Then we lose our first love. Revelation 3:17

Thanks for tuning into Part I, but it's late and I have to be up at 5am.  I'm brand new to this, but follow my blog and get the next part of this exciting journey.  Part II should be out tomorrow night sometime.

In Part II we will discuss:

• God's examples to us
• How we lose our sense of need
• How things become Gods, and possibly
• The twelve evidences that we have lost our "First Love" for the Lord